What is a Divorce Consultant, and how can I help you?
What is a Divorce Consultant?
A Divorce Consultant helps you to understand the divorce process, the timings involved, the emotions involved, and the various scenarios in your case. We help you to explore the options available to you, and to understand what each option can result in down the line, therefore enabling you to make informed decisions all through the process and to plan the next steps. We can support you with the emotions that you may face, and with all of the practical elements of your divorce or separation.
Divorce and it’s processes impact us all differently, and will impact on your life in so many ways - both positively and negatively. A Divorce Consultant can help you to minimise any negative effects that the process can bring.
How can I help you?
When clients come to me saying they would like a divorce, I spend time exploring with them if it is truly what they want. I help clients to explore what they want and need in a relationship, and whether these things can be found in their marriage. Some clients choose to try for a period of time with their partners and see if they can work things out. Others are very clear already in their minds that divorce is the way they want to go.
I can work with you on an individual basis where you are choosing to represent yourself. Legal fees can put clients off getting a divorce. It doesn’t have to be as expensive if you are clear on the process and what options are available to you. It’s always worth at least finding this out first.
I help clients to understand the full process from start to finish (or from where they are in the process) - the administration of the actual divorce, the financial settlement, the children, and the importance of an up to date Will. A lot of clients assume that it’s all part of 1 process, but it’s not.
There is an emotional journey that we all go through as part of a divorce, and it is very similar to that of the grief journey. I help a client to understand this and not to be afraid of it. Knowledge is power, and if you know about the stages that you and your ex will go through (at different times), it can help you to feel stronger, more empowered, and together we can aim our communications at the right level for the timing.
If both parties are fully agreed on the divorce and the split of assets, then it can be done very smoothly and amicably with very limited involvement from legal teams - I can help here to ensure things run efficiently and get resolved asap.
I can work with you and your solicitor/financial advisor as part of a team working together to achieve the optimum result. Sometimes it can work better in a situation where communications come from a solicitor to the ex - but that’s not to say that you can’t write them or input more than average. I work with clients giving as much or as little input as they need or want. Some clients ask me to work directly with their solicitor and not involve them as the emotion can be too tough, some use the emotional support I can give them alongside the process being led by their solicitor, and others ask me for input jointly with their solicitors to have a powerful negotiation..
On that point, I worked in Sales at a senior level for almost 20 years on multi-million pound deals, and negotiation is second nature to me. Most of your divorce, when it comes to financials and children, is about negotiation rather than legality unfortunately.
I give my personal view on situations from a personal experience perspective. Having been through my own divorce, and lots with clients, I can talk through various scenarios that are real life.
I help individuals to understand what options they have, and what the impact of each option could be - both on themselves, their ex, and their children (if they have any).
I keep the long-term alive for clients. During divorce we become very focussed on the here and now, and lose sight of the future at times. I help clients to understand the future impact of any decisions before they make them.
I help to remove emotion from any communications that a client receives or sends so that the focus remains for what we’re trying to resolve. Unfortunately emotions don’t always help and can slow the process down.
I support my clients with any forms that come as part of the process - divorce application, form E, statement of information etc. Obviously the client can be submitting these themselves (or via their solicitor), but I can help with the population of the forms for them. Or I can help to ensure that my clients have all of the relevant documentation for their meetings with their solicitor.
I attend court with clients as a support for them. I also work as part of a legal team with them on the day/s to help ensure the best possible outcome - this can be from the personal/emotional perspective as I get to know my clients and their situations closely, but balanced with the negotiation side of things.
I can help a client to finalise the financial settlement in writing to the point where we then get a solicitor to formalise any agreement and submit to court on a clients behalf - if a client chooses to represent his/herself.
Where children are involved, I help my clients to remain focused on what the children need and want, and try to keep their personal feelings towards their ex out of any conversations. It is very easy to let our judgement become clouded in the process of a divorce, and after it. I try to give an objective view and help a client to think about this before they react and make any plans.
My overarching goal in this business is to get my clients through their divorce or separation (if that is definitely their chosen route) as quickly, amicably, and efficiently as is possible, and to show a client how life can look post all of what they’re going through. Its not always possible to do this, but at least you will know that you’ve tried before moving onto, what can evolve as, more aggressive approaches.
Call Emily on 07814009408 to discuss how I can help you