Second Chances – Anthea Turner (How to Survive Divorce)
Reading Anthea's book is inspiring - she hits the nail on the head when it comes to infidelity and moving beyond it in a marriage.
Admittedly her and Grant are no longer together, but she was willing to give it every chance. It's thought provoking for anyone who finds themselves in her position....don't assume all is lost at the first hurdle.
"Most people deserve a second chance – life’s not simply black and white. It is possible to forgive if you’ve been betrayed or hurt in some other way, and by that I don’t for a minute mean physically. Abuse is always a no, no.
But in my opinion, and from personal experience, I can say that infidelity doesn’t necessarily have to be a deal breaker if the cheater is genuinely sorry and the injured party is able to look beyond the betrayal. This isn’t giving every cheater a hall-pass to play away. I’m just saying that there are grey areas and it is possible to stay in the marriage even if one of you has been unfaithful.
It obviously needs a huge amount of love support and understanding on both sides. After I’d discovered that Grant had been unfaithful to me, somehow, we still managed to communicate, and I think for us this was the key to us staying together.
He was – eventually – hugely sorry and contrite, and I tried my hardest to understand why he did what he did, and to make our marriage work. I gave him a second chance because I believed with all my heart that we would get through it and build a stronger relationship.
Despite what later happened, I don’t regret it because I know I did everything in my power to keep our family together, and that, to me, meant everything.
Whatever happens in life, in a marriage, no-one can sit upon a pedestal of righteousness.
Statistically you’re unfortunately in the minority if you’re lucky enough to have a solid, long-lasting, baggage free marriage, where nothing has ever gone wrong and no mistakes have been made."