• Emily Pringle

Tips on building the strength and resilience to make the decision on what's best for your future

1. Surround yourself with people who understand that leaving is a hard option – it’s not the easy way out. These people won’t push you one way or the other. They won’t push you into “leaving him/her,” but they will also, without judging you, call you on being in denial or breaking your own rules

2. Get professional guidance from a divorce coach, or counsellor, who understands the process of divorce and who has no agenda as to whether you stay or leave – they will help you to understand the options and choices available to you, to enable you to make an informed decision

3. Do everything you can to work on your marriage so that, if you do have to end it, you can feel that you gave it your best and tried everything

4. Write it down…science shows the benefit of writing when stressed. It literally moves the intense emotions through your brain. It is also proven that it helps to get your thoughts out onto paper so you can see them in a different way

5. Be honest with your spouse/partner. Not talking about what’s going on and then springing it on them one day that you want out of the relationship is cruel and won’t benefit either of you in the long run

6. Put distance between yourself and people who are critical or judgemental of you and your choice to stay or go. You won’t have the emotional capacity to deal with them and their views. You will need all of your inner strength for your decision

7. Be kind to yourself and make time to focus on you